


Neal What !?!

by KeJae



Category: White Collar
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Mystery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-31
Updated: 2016-01-31
Packaged: 2018-05-17 11:49:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5868193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KeJae/pseuds/KeJae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seriously. Neal Caffrey White Collar con, thief, forger, and a legend around the world as well as a growing legendary consultant in the FBI had been reduced to a wriggly little hamster in a suit dancing around a box. Who wouldn't see the humor in that?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Neal What !?!

*******

No one knew how it happened. And even if they did, no one would believe them.

It all started when the team were checking out a warehouse. Jones was moving crates in one corner while Diana was peering behind boxes in another. Peter was standing in the middle of the room having a theoretical conversation with Neal as they tried to decipher where a hidden secret might be in the large cluttered space. Then it happened.

One moment, Peter is standing next to his CI, then he turned to watch his reaction to his next question, only instead of watching his expression, all three agents turned just in time to watch the man shrink into a tiny rodent.   The next moment found Peter scurrying after said rodent on his hands and knees in an effort to catch him before he could get lost, while endeavoring not to accidently step on him. It didn’t take long to corner the little thing, then Diana proffered a box to keep him in once Peter had caught him.

The agents simply stood staring as Neal scratched and danced around trying to find an escape route from the box. They couldn’t comprehend how a simple investigation had turned into such a mystery. What had happened? And how were they supposed to fix this?

“What is he?” Jones asked.

“Um, I think he is a hamster.” Was Diana’s guess.

“How can you tell that?” Peter wondered.

“See his nose, it is shorter than a mouse with a more blocked shape. Then his tail is shorter as well. A friend had one when I was a kid and I think it had the same physical shape as he does.” Diana simply shrugged off her rodent knowledge as no big deal.

Nodding, the other agents accepted her knowledge. It wasn’t so important what he was, as it was important to figure out how to get him back into a human. Still, they couldn’t help but observe Neal as a hamster.

Jones got an incredulous look on his face. “Is he still wearing a suit?”

“What?!” The two said at once.

“See, his back is a solid grey color, like his suit, but when he stands you can see the white with the black line, like his shirt and tie. Then around his head is a darker grey with a black band, like his Fedora.” Jones pointed out each detail for the others to see.

Peter snorted in amusement, “Figures. Neal would be the only hamster in history to be well dressed in a suit and hat!”

Diana had a wide eyed expression before she busted up laughing. Peter started with a chuckle, then he slowly grew to laugh just as hard as Diana was. Jones easily joined in, and for a few moments the three couldn’t help but laugh.

Seriously. Neal Caffrey White Collar con, thief, and forger, a legend around the world, as well as a growing legendary consultant in the FBI, had been reduced to a wriggly little hamster in a suit dancing around a box. Who wouldn’t see the humor in that?

Eventually, the humor was gone for the moment, and the trepidation returned. Now what?

“Uh… let’s have a meeting at my place. I’ll call Elizabeth, have her get Mozzie, and meet us there. Then we’ll have El taking care of Neal, Mozzie looking into street info, and we’ll get to tackle working with Hughes and the official angle.” Peter directed. He shared a look with the other two that said, ‘This isn’t going to be fun at all… how are we going to prove that Neal was turned into a hamster?’

Looking to the ceiling for inspiration, Jones found the key. “Look! A camera is pointed directly at us, if we can get the feed, we might be able to figure something out as well as have something towards helping prove that we aren’t crazy!”

Beaming, Peter ordered him to get right on that while he called Elizabeth.

Diana was holding Neal’s box and tormenting him. Every time she would pet Neal, he would lower himself down as low as he could go and scurry to get away from her. Amused, Diana kept trying to pet him while he kept running away.

After finishing his call, Peter took pity on the little guy and took the box away. Giving Diana a look, he wordlessly reprimanded her for being so mean to Neal. After all, if there was any ounce of human thought going on in his mind, he had to be freaking out as he suddenly found himself looking at the world in a whole new way. If there wasn’t any human thought, he still had to be terrified as such a little rodent with these big fingers touching him. Instinctually he would treat them as possible predators and be frantic to get away for his life. Either way, the little guy had to be terrified and he didn’t deserve to be scared even more.

Feeling guilty, Diana silently promised to be nicer to Neal when he was a human again… if he was ever a human again.

With their camera feed, team mate, and a beginning of a plan, they left the warehouse to convene at the Burkes.

*******

Elizabeth had no idea what was going on.

She had been working with a client when she got an urgent call from her husband requesting that she contact Mozzie and they all meet at home. When she called Mozz, he had been in the middle of a high stakes game of Candy Land with June, so she tagged along to see if she could help.

Being the first one there, Elizabeth unlocked the door, put Satchmo outside, and began getting a few drinks and snacks ready just in case this took a while.

Next, Mozzie and June arrived. They were concerned as to what could have Peter so eager to get the group to convene so quickly and at a non-public/official place like his home. It had to concern Neal, and it had to be bad, but what could it be?

The answer that they got was completely unexpected.

Shortly after the others were seated around anxiously checking the window every few minutes, they were rewarded with the sight of Peter and the team approaching the house with a box in hand. Curious, El hurried to get the door open for them and the group was soon settled with a laptop in the middle.

Jones hurried to set up the video while Peter kept a watchful eye on the box.

Elizabeth was watching her husband curiously. She thought that he was watching the box as if Neal could possibly be inside of it and Peter was trying to ensure that he didn’t escape and hurt himself. It was a typical expression on his face in relation to Neal, but why he would have the expression while watching a box was beyond her.

He simply looked back at Elizabeth, “I won’t say a word about what happened until after you guys have watched our little video. Otherwise, you would be more eager to have us put into a psychiatric ward than believe us… We were there and saw it first hand and we still don’t believe it!” With that cryptic statement, Peter went back to eyeing his box and gave a quick check over to make sure that he hadn’t missed anything. It was too quiet… and that was never a good thing with Neal… no matter his species. Luckily there was no apparent damage, so maybe he was just sleeping in the corner?

As the video loaded, Jones attempted to prepare them for what they were about to watch. “I don’t know how to warn you guys… this… is beyond my imagination! Neal… we hope he is going to be okay, but you’re just going to have to watch what happened before we can begin to try and figure out how to fix this problem.” He finished with a glance at the box and pressed play.

They all watched in puzzlement as the team were simply investigating like usual, then that puzzlement turned to horror as they watched Neal shrink into a hamster.

After the video was done, Jones pressed stop and the entire group simply sat there in shock. El, Mozzie, and June saw it for the first time while the others saw a recap from a different perspective. Still, none of them had been able to pull their eyes away so they had all watched in fascinated horror as the mystery occurred.

When a few moments had passed, Mozzie pointed shakily at the box. “So, you mean to say that Neal is in that box?”

“Yes, he is.” Peter confirmed the impossible and opened the box, only to be horrified. “Or was! How did he chew through that so fast? Everyone, be careful, but Neal is loose somewhere in here!”

With wide eyes and frantic expressions, the entire group began the slow and careful, yet extremely concerned process of moving to the floor. In no time, everyone was crawling around on their hands and knees as they looked for the elusive Neal Caffrey.

“At least as a human, he didn’t have us crawling around on our hands and knees looking beneath shelves and in small spaces!” Jones was muttering.

“Really? Because, I recall a few time of checking the places he might have kicked evidence underneath something.” Diana responded. She was recalling when she was the probie just beginning to work on the field side of the investigations.

“Will you focus on the here and now people! Neal is a lost hamster and there is no telling what kind of hidey holes there may be in this place!” Mozzie was panicking as he was imagining all kinds of troubling scenarios for Neal.

“Mozz!” El scolded. “Our house is dog proof and we don’t have rodent issues. There aren’t really any particular dangers for him, but we still need to find him.” She tried to reassure the others, but it didn’t really help.

“Ha, come here you… gotcha! Caught him again!” Peter announced. Neal had just poked his head out on a shelf of the entertainment system… how he had gotten up there they never knew… when Peter happened to sit up looking around to see if he could see him. The movement caught the corner of his eye, and his exclamation startled Neal into withdrawing. A short chase acrossed the shelf later and Neal was captured… again. “That is 2 for Peter and 0 for hamster Neal… we have matched his human score now.” Peter said as he handed the wriggly little fella to Elizabeth.

She held him as he wiggled around in her cupped hands. “Ooh, isn’t he so cute! Is his fur seriously patterned after his suite?”

Laughing, Peter answered. “You noticed that huh. Jones was the one to point it out to the rest of us at the warehouse. It figures doesn’t it, Neal would be the best dressed hamster and I would be the one to continuously catch him.” When he finished, his shoulders slumped and he felt a little melancholy as he reached out and petted Neal’s back. “I don’t know how to get him back…”

El patted his shoulder. “I don’t know what happened, but we’ll find a way to get him back. We have the smartest people that I know working on this. We’ll get through this and we’ll get Neal back to his old self.”

The group moved back to the seating arrangement and sat down watching as Neal ran around on the coffee table.

“He is going to need a cage and several other things… it’s weird, but he is going to need a real cage!” El said as she watched him try to chew on a magazine.

With a sigh, Peter took the magazine away from him. “I thought we would have El, and now June” he nodded towards them, “get him a cage and anything that he may need for the duration of however long this might last. Mozzie, I wanted you to hit the streets any contacts you can check with and any ancient documents that might say anything about a person transforming into a hamster.” Rolling his eyes. “Yes, Mozzie I did include ancient documents in the search range. Really, we have no idea what is going on so why not leave no stone unturned? Besides, if anyone can find some strange conspiracy theory, you’re the best person I know.”

“On it.” Mozzie said as he hurried to get out the door to get started.

Turning to Jones and Diana. “And we need to get going. We have the FBI, Marshals, and everything official to take care of… if we end up in a psych ward… come visit us.” With those parting words, he kissed El and left to go back to work.

Elizabeth and June decided to begin getting Neal set up. “I’ll be right back. I think we need something solider that he can’t chew his way through.” When she returned from the kitchen she was carrying a tall piece of Tupperware.

With June sitting in the passenger seat holding Neal, Elizabeth drove to the nearest pet store.

When the two ladies walked in, the clerk immediately saw dollar signs. After all, the one lady had fancy clothes and the other looked like she was stylish as well.

“Hi, we need to get a cage and supplies for this little guy.” Elizabeth said as she held the piece of Tupperware up on the counter.

The clerk snorted. “Seriously! The little guy even looks like he is wearing a suit!”

That was the wrong thing to say. When Peter and the other said it, it was with fond amusement. However this dude said it condescendingly. “Yes, his fur is patterned after a suit. If that is going to be a problem, we can definitely take our business elsewhere.” June was not about to let Neal be treated like a joke, and by the way El backed her up, the clerk decided that these two women were not people to be crossed.

“Okay, okay, I didn’t mean anything by it. It just isn’t something that you tend to see. If it is okay with you, I think I have the perfect cage for you in the back?” He was suddenly behaving a lot better.

Smiling, June and Elizabeth followed him towards the back and waited while he disappeared into the employee’s only area.

Walking back through the swinging doors, he came back carrying the perfect cage. At first it resembled a bird cage, but then El noticed how it was only designed after a bird cage. The top of it had an Arabian design with towers standing majestically over the rest of it. There were safe wire walkways that took the cage resident all over the place from the top tower, down through swings, a cross bridges, and down to the main floor area. He had two kinds of wheels to run in, a bed worthy of a palace, and several hidey holes to retreat to during the day. It was definitely the perfect cage for Neal Caffrey.

The trip didn’t take too long after that. There was the purchase of a food dish, water bottle, gourmet food and snacks, a ball, and some additional toys to keep him occupied.

After the shopping spree was done, they returned to the Burke residence and began setting Neal up in his temporary home. With Neal taken care of, all they had to do was set back and wait until Peter came home with the hope that he would be the bearer of good news…

*******

Peter had hoped that he would have better news… granted, the news that Hughes hadn’t thrown them into the psych ward was good… but he hoped that he would have found something that could help Neal.

The team had spent the whole day researching and had come up with nothing. The video of Neal being transformed was being studied by the most tech savvy personnel that the FBI could provide, there was an entire team dedicated to analyzing it piece by piece. In addition, there were some men in black checking out the warehouse, Mozzie on the streets, and the White Collar team was busy going through ancient lore. It was the weirdest case that any of them had ever seen.

When Peter walked through his door with Jones and Diana, he wasn’t expecting what he encountered.

Mozzie and June were helping prepare dinner in the other room, but the biggest surprise was the giant cage sitting in the living room. Walking over to it, he couldn’t help but look in and comment. “Figures. Even as a hamster you get the Cappuccino in the Clouds…”

“Peter, it was the coolest cage they had. Besides, if Neal were human, do you really think he would want one of those simple things they use for real hamsters?” She spoke with an attitude that said Neal would be himself again, and when he was, they would have to account for how they treated him.

“I know hon. It’s a Neal worthy cage, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t think of him the same way that I usually do. That’s about the only normal thing about all of this…” Peter understood how upset El was, he was just trying to bear with the situation as best as he could.

The evening was spent subdued with dinner being a quiet affair. As the food was being eaten, El couldn’t help but notice how Neal came out of his hidey hole and was sitting in his food dish eating. Unable to help it, Elizabeth got up and set up a spoon with samples of the best (hamster appropriate) foods on the table. Then she proceeded to get Neal out of his cage and set him up to the spoon.

Seeing what she was about to do, Diana pulled out her phone and got the recorder ready. When Neal was sat down in front of the spoon, he sniffed at it and chose his desired food, and then he began eating rather contentedly. The group laughed when Peter picked him up and looked at him. Neal simply squirmed with his food in his mouth so Peter shifted his position so that Neal was sitting on his hand. Looking like Peter was about to steal his food, Neal packed it away in his cheek and decided to look for more. Rolling his eyes, Peter grabbed another piece of food and fed him. This time Neal decided that if Peter was going to feed him, then maybe he could settle in and eat. Sitting back on his haunches, Neal worked his way through the food. When he was done with that particular piece, Peter decided to continue feeding him as they were enjoying watching him. With each piece, Neal got less and less hungry until eventually he simply began to pack the food for later. After his cheeks were sufficiently filled, Neal’s head looked like a cobra with the cape fully extended.

As Neal was beginning to look for a place suitable to jump, Peter decided that it was time to set him back on the table while he proceeded to eat his own meal. For the next little while, Neal meandered his way around the table and each of the people there spent time playing with him or preventing him from jumping off of the table. Eventually, Elizabeth decided that it was enough so she put Neal back in his house while the rest of them proceeded to finish their dinner.

Diana was grinning at her plate and seemed to be struggling not to bust up laughing.

Noticing, Elizabeth asked her what was so funny.

“Oh, I was just thinking. I got all of that on video and I think it make a great means of tormenting Neal when he is human again… Not to mention the jokes that we can say about Peter feeding Neal!” With the look on Peter’s face at her last comment, Diana couldn’t help it any longer and she busted up laughing.

Picturing how such a video could be used, it didn’t take long for the others to join in. Despite being ranked as the butt of the joke, Peter even managed to see the humor of him feeding a suited, hamster Neal while he sits happily on his hand.

Elizabeth and June requested copies of any videos or pictures that people took, and Elizabeth promised to share any good one that she might be able to capture.

*******

That was nearly a week ago.

Despite all of the efforts and the frequent meetings to exchange information, the mystery still remained unsolved.

The team found it a great relief that Neal remained at the Burkes. This meant that they could stop by and see how things were going at nearly anytime… Which meant that they got to witness a lot of interesting things to tease Neal about later.

****

One trip meant that June was able to take some pictures of Peter tormenting Neal followed by a cute moment that she would always cherish.

Elizabeth had decided that it was probably a good idea to clean Neal’s cage since he had been storing food in the corners. At first, she had placed Neal in his ball and left him to roam around the house in freedom, but when he frequently annoyed Satchmo by bumping into him, Elizabeth decided to have Peter watch him while he ran around loose.

“I already have to watch his tracking data when he is human, why do I have to watch him as a hamster too?” Peter was partially whining, and he was partially joking. It seemed that for as much as things had changed, some things stayed the same.

Giving him her _you know why_ look, “Just think of it this way, Neal doesn’t have any kind of tracking monitor on now and if he gets away, think how hard it would be to find a rodent in New York City.”

Peter simply paled and nodded with a look that said he completely understood her point.

Shortly after that, June came over to see them. When Elizabeth let her in the door, June looked around and quickly found Peter seated on the floor in front of the couch. By the way he was moving she could tell that he was playing with Neal.

Moving closer, the two could see that Peter was constantly blocking Neal off. Neal would run and climb up the back of the couch so Peter would catch him and lift him back down. Then Neal would try to run and look over the edge for a place to jump so Peter would block him off.

Lifting her phone, Elizabeth caught a brief clip of Neal’s frustrated pacing while Peter continuously blocked him from reaching his goal. Taking a short video unnoticed, Elizabeth then invited June to the kitchen for tea. She had finished cleaning the cage, but as she was providing Peter with an excuse to continue to play with Neal, she wasn’t going to be telling him that yet.

Later, Elizabeth and June decided to check on Peter and Neal.

Sitting on the couch, Peter was focused on watching a game and Neal was curled in a ball sleeping on his shoulder snuggled in next to his neck. It was too cute to pass up so Elizabeth decided to quietly snap a picture and video clip to remember it by.

Sneaking back into the kitchen, Elizabeth and June decided that dinner could wait as it was going to be a time that Peter would remember spending with Neal… whether Neal would remember it or not.

***

Another cute moment that was documented was when Elizabeth was home alone with Neal.

She had decided to play with Neal a little bit since she was home alone and hopefully this hamster phase wouldn’t last forever.

Pulling him out, she cradled the sleeping Neal in her hand. Since she wasn’t endeavoring to keep him sleeping, he quickly woke up.

As she watched, Neal started blinking at her and shifting around. Then he stretched his little paws out in front of him and yawned a huge _‘see down my throat’_ yawn.

Laughing, “You aren’t so polite about covering your mouth when you yawn as you are when you’re a human. Then again, I don’t think that your little paw would be big enough to cover that face splitting yawn.”

Grabbing her phone with her other hand she set up a video to catch what was coming on video.

Just in time, she set it up to watch as Neal sat up on his haunches and began to groom. While she watched, he moistened his paws by licking them, and then he rubbed them over his head. After a few minutes of generally grooming, he decided he was awake and ready to play.

When she had played with him for a bit, Elizabeth put Neal back into his cage and got out her laptop. Pulling up her video program, she inserted the video of Neal grooming. Once it had uploaded, she went through it and pulled several cute pictures off of it and added them all to her growing collection of memories… or as Diana called it ‘her material to use against Neal when he was human again.’

***

Diana and Jones came over one evening and spent some time with Peter going over the files as they hoped to find something if they put enough time into searching for it.

When they got their things settled around the coffee table, Diana decided to get Neal and hold him while she searched through files. She had learned that it could be fun to sit with Neal curled up sleeping while she went through a file. Pulling Neal out of his cage, she was relieved to find him sleeping soundly.

Elizabeth hurried to get a picture of Neal stretched flat on his back a crossed Diana’s hand. His mouth was slightly open and moved like he was muttering in his sleep while his paws twitched and shifted with his dreams. Switching to a video, Elizabeth managed to catch his movements.

Then with an evil glint, Diana decided to tickle his little foot paw and they were all rewarded with Neal kicking his paw as fast as he could. This continued for a few moments as Diana would gently tickle Neal via his paws or his whiskers and he would kick or put a paw out like a human swatting a fly away from their face.

Finally, Neal decided that it was enough so he began to wake up. As he did, he curled up and began trying to get back onto his paws.

Taking pity on him, Diana decided to stop torturing him and cuddled him in her hand.

After a few moments of deciding whether or not he should stay awake or curl back up to sleep, Neal decided on the latter.

With him curled into a ball in her hand and cuddled to her abdomen, Diana settled into a chair and grabbed a folder.

Exchanging grins and chuckling, Peter and Jones simply continued to peruse their own files.

As it usually goes with cuddling sleeping hamsters, Neal eventually decided that he was out so it was time to wake up and play.

Noticing that he was waking up, Diana sat him in her lap and continued to work on her files while he stretched, groomed, and began to run around and explore.

Jones noticed that Neal had climbed up onto the arm of the chair and was pacing back and forth along the edge with his nose looking over as he tried to decide if he should jump, and where. Catching him, Jones moved Neal out to the coffee table where they could all watch him. He quickly learned what kind of a mistake that was.

In no time, Neal had tried nibbling on files and forms which left little teeth marks as well as a few missing pieces where he had managed to collect himself some nesting material. Then Neal decided to try and climb Peter’s Styrofoam coffee cup which ended with the coffee dumped acrossed the table. Before anyone could catch him Neal had run through the coffee and a crosses several of the papers spread out on the table leaving a trail of coffee colored paw prints behind. Finally, Neal stepped on a piece of tape and got it suck to one of his back paws. Frustrated, he walked around the table kicking his paw and occasionally nipping at it to dislodge the tape. Unsuccessful, he continued his efforts as he made his way toward Peter. In a un-hamster like move, Neal seemed to look to Peter for help.

Elizabeth was standing off behind the agents and caught the chaos all on video. Leave it to hamster Neal to keep three FBI agents on their toes trying to keep up with him… just another proof that things hadn’t changed as much as it seemed.

Taking pity on him, Peter removed the tape and said, “That’s enough!” while holding the wiggling little Neal. “Back to your cage. Seriously, how can one hamster cause so much trouble? Look at these files, there are chew marks, paw prints, and spilled coffee all over the place!”

Laughing, Elizabeth said, “Remember honey, this is Neal that we are talking about. He keeps the three of you on your toes as a human too. At least you can put him in his cage, know where he is, and checking on him is as simple as walking down stairs.”

Sighing, Peter was part amused and part heavy hearted, “I would rather check my computer regularly for his tracking data, try to keep up with him in the office, and be able to check on him by looking at his desk. The problem is that I have no idea how to bring that back.” Rubbing his face in his hands, Peter sat back down and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. For a few seconds he simply sat there with his head in his hands and his fingers running through his hair.

Elizabeth continued to film the scene as Peter sat with his face hidden in his hands while Jones and Diana looked just as worried for Neal. She wanted Neal to know that his time as a hamster wasn’t all fun and games while they tormented him, but that there was a lot of emotion and concern for him as well… in short, his time was taken advantage of with the hope that it would be short lived.

The evening continued with no further luck and eventually the search broke up for dinner and then for the night.

*******

It was going on two weeks of Neal being a hamster, and the hope that this was going to be a short term situation was dwindling as it turned into a growing level of despair.

In the office, the men in black were starting to discuss taking Neal away for study if he didn’t change back soon. The analyst were able to pinpoint the exact second that Neal started to change, but they were unable to find the cause. Meanwhile, Mozzie and the White Collar team had heard or read every possibly conceivable reason why Neal could transform into a hamster.

Word ranged from some kind of magic cast on him to redirect the investigation, to Neal being a descendant of a hamster turned human for a time and he was the unfortunate one who was living when the time was up, to Neal being some kind of government experiment.

Really, none of them made sense and did nothing to help solve the problem. Even if one of them was true, what did they do to reverse it?

Fortunately, they didn’t have to figure it out.

*******

Peter was sitting on the couch while Neal was running around beside him. He was feeling depressed and was losing hope that he would ever see his friend as a human again. Sitting forward, he had his face in his hands and was trying to rub the stress away unsuccessfully.

While Peter wasn’t looking, Neal found himself stopping in his tracks and looking at Peter. In a moment, he was full sized again and thinking human. “Peter?” He questioned. The last thing he remembered was standing in the warehouse for their most recent case. “What happened?”

At first Peter thought that it was his imagination. After all, why would a hamster be saying his name? Then when Neal asked another question, he decided that he should turn and look to see if he was hearing things… besides he hadn’t paid attention to Neal for more than enough time for him to get into trouble.

As he turned, Peter’s eyes opened wide taking in the dress shoes, slacks, shirt and other attire, before they made it up to the curious face of his partner. Sitting like a statue, Peter couldn’t help but stare at Neal, he could hardly breathe he was so shocked.

Concerned with Peter’s silence, Neal decided to call for Elizabeth. “Elizabeth?!”

Hurrying down the stairs, Elizabeth couldn’t believe her ears, _‘Was that really Neal’s voice?’_    Rounding the bottom of the stairs and looking into the living room, she was surprised to see Peter frozen as he stared at a human Neal who in return looked to her in utter confusion and concern. His face screamed ‘ _What happened?!’_

“N-Neal?” She stuttered. “What do you remember?” While he thought over his answer she walked a cross to Peter and got his attention.

After a moment, Peter seemed to breathe again and he took another moment to pull himself together. Then he repeated Elizabeth’s unanswered question. “What do you remember Neal?”

Looking like he knew something was wrong, but had no idea what, Neal answered. “We were searching the warehouse. Jones and Diana were going through the stuff while you and I were standing in the middle. One moment you were about to ask me something, and then the next it was like I was waking up here on your couch. You were sitting with your head in your hands, you only do that when you are worried. And Elizabeth, you came down the stairs like you couldn’t believe that it was me talking to you. Then there is your new addition of a cage over there… what did I miss?”

Without answering, Peter got up and got his computer. Returning, he set it up on the coffee table just like he had done almost two weeks ago. Turning to Neal, he repeated the general words from then too. “If I simply answered your question, you wouldn’t believe me. Instead, I’m going to show you. Then we need to get the word out that your back… to normal.”

Elizabeth sat by Neal on one side and held his hand to comfort him, on his other side, Peter put a hand on his shoulder and watched his reactions to what he was about to see.

At first, Neal simply leaned forward watching the scene in the warehouse like it was expected, but while looking for something to happen. Then his eyes flew open wide and his body went rigidly away from the computer when he suddenly shrunk into a hamster. If he hadn’t been in shock, he would of laughed at Peter’s crawling chase acrossed the floor and been upset about being put in a box. When the video was done, he simply sat frozen in his own state of shock.

“Neal?” Peter gently shook his shoulder. “Neal!” He got louder and rougher to get his attention.

Turning to Peter, Neal tried to speak, but the words wouldn’t come together.

With a sad expression Peter spoke first. “We have spent nearly two weeks turning over every rock that we could find in order to try to figure out what had happened to you and how we could get things back to rights. Unfortunately, we have no idea what happened, and apparently you simply turned back a few minutes ago for no explainable reason… like you turning into a hamster has anything explainable about it.” He broke off to muttering by the time he was done, but Neal was only partially listening anyway.

 _He had been a hamster? For nearly two weeks? Well, that explained the new cage in the corner._ He smirked as he realized that even as a hamster he had been treated well. If that cage was saying anything, it was that the others cared about him. Then he couldn’t help but laugh. _He had been a hamster living in a cage at the Burkes for two weeks under Peter’s watchful keep!_

Looking concerned, Peter and Elizabeth shared a look before Peter hesitantly asked, “Neal, what is so funny?”

Struggling to breath, Neal answered. “I assume that that has been my cage for the last two weeks?” He said while pointing at it.

Seeing the humor, Peter was rather relieved that June and Elizabeth had bought that particular cage after all. Rubbing the back of his neck and looking towards the cage as well, he turned back to Neal. “Yeah, that is the one that Elizabeth and June picked out for you… Just a heads up, when everything is settled down about you being human again, Diana has been collecting stuff to tease you about being a hamster with… I don’t think that you will ever live this one down.”

At first Neal had a fearful look, _‘What could they possibly have gotten on him?’_ Then he decided that he could live with them teasing him as long as it meant that they were relieved to have him human again… but he might have to steal anything that was too bad!

*******

The next few days were rather hectic. First, there was the impromptu celebration at the Burke’s when the word was spread that Neal was human again. Then, there was the bureaucratic red tape to be cleared on the official front. Finally, the teasing began.

*******

Once the teasing began, Neal felt that it would never stop.

The market on hamster stuffed animals, ringtones, cards, and other trinkets is rather limited, yet somehow the team seemed to be able to track down a rather large collection of hamster paraphernalia for them to tease Neal with.

On Neal’s first ‘Official’ day back to the office (meaning the first day that he was back without all of the bureaucrats hovering around) he walked in to find a hamster TY with a “Get Well Soon” balloon tied around it’s middle waiting on his desk. Next he found a hamster appropriate salad on his desk at lunch. While later he found a pile of candy with hamster pictures on the wrappers. Finally, he called Peter, without realizing that the man was standing just around the corner from him, to hear that annoying tune from Hampton the Hamster giggle out of Peter’s phone. Curious, he walked around the corner to find Peter shuffling the files he was reading in an effort to get to his phone.

“Peter!” Neal was indignant. To be reduced to a ringtone based off of a hamster making noises to a country beat? That was insufferable!

Somewhere between a smirk and a guilty expression Peter responded. “I couldn’t resist… at least for now. I assume that I will now be punished by your regular calls and frequent attempts to embarrass me by calling me at the most inopportune time for my phone to ring with such a corny ringtone?”

With a short swift nod, Neal confirmed that Peter would be punished, but he didn’t confirm how.

Sighing, “You can plan your revenge later, what is it that you wanted to talk about?”

There was a frustrated growl to Neal’s voice as he made his request. “Can I get out for a while or take a break? Every time I turn around, there is a hamster related item being put on my desk, my computer keeps doing things like randomly playing that stupid song, someone will titter acrossed the room while looking sideways at me and I can’t help but wonder what they are going to do to me next… it just won’t stop, and I would like to get away from it for a while.”

Seeing that Neal did truly need a break, Peter decided to take him home for dinner. “Come on, you’re coming to my place for dinner.”

At first Neal looked like he disagreed, but Peter’s tone didn’t leave him room to argue. He was going whether he wanted to or not. With another frustrated growl, Neal again simply nodded his head in agreement.

Peter dropped his files back at his desk and both men grabbed their belongings to head home for the night.

*******

Driving home, Peter found the car to be rather quiet and decided that he would have a talk with the team tomorrow in order to get things to settle down. He knew that Neal was expecting them to tease him, and that Neal was even a little relieved that they cared enough to tease him as a bonafide member of the team. Still, there was a limit to the amount of teasing that a person could handle at a time, and things were going to a point of hounding him at all times.

Walking up to the Burke’s house, Neal got a little smirk as he thought again about having spent two weeks living there as a family pet. Then he laughed.

“What’s so funny all of a sudden?” Peter asked distractedly as he sorted through the mail while slowly walking toward the house.

Humor still coloring his voice, “I was just thinking. I spent two weeks here living as your family pet! So how did I compare to Satchmo? Was I easier to take care of, was I more fun to play with, what?”

Giving Neal a surprised look, Peter then transitioned into a disinterested look and commented. “You lived in your cage and did what you needed to do. Nothing more.” He was trying to get out of having to tell Neal that he fed him in his hand at the table, the chase around the house when he had gotten loose, or the time when Neal had slept on his shoulder curled up while he watched the game. They were memories that Peter kept inside, but cherished all the same. It was time spent with his partner, but as he was a hamster at the time, things were different than usual, so he wasn’t going to be talking about it.

Neal tried to hide how much that hurt. _He was simply left in his cage to fend for himself for two weeks?_ Then he noticed how Peter’s look again transitioned, like he was expecting what he had just said to come back to bite him in time.

What Neal didn’t know was that Peter had just remembered that Elizabeth had a large collection of photos and videos to prove his statement false. On top of that, they would show Neal everything about how Peter handled Neal’s time as a hamster. From the initial shock on the video that he had already seen, through the various times of teasing Neal while playing with him, Peter’s feeding and caring for him, the worry and concern that Peter had felt, and the fond memories like enjoying the game together no matter how much Neal wasn’t paying attention. Not to mention the fact that Neal had voiced the question once, so it would be voiced again, to Elizabeth who would pull every last piece of that evidence and show Neal. _Oh cowboy up Peter! So what if he finds out that you care about him! Really, after everything he has been through, you can take some uncomfortable feelings to give comfort to your friend._ “El’s going to enjoy proving that statement wrong.” Was his quiet statement.

Neal almost didn’t hear it, but the uttered words made him feel better. If Peter was trying to avoid talking about how Neal was as his ‘family pet,’ then there was going to be something very interesting to discover when the story came out. Now Neal was planning on asking Elizabeth as soon as a chance was permitted for him to do so.

Looking over at Neal, Peter knew that his whispered words had been heard, also that his thoughts were correct. It was only going to be a matter of time before Neal would discover a way to ask Elizabeth, and then the rest of the evening would be spent going over pictures, videos, and stories about what all had gone on during the two week time span. Silently groaning to himself, Peter was not looking forward to it as he was inevitably going to be the bottom of many the joke and teasing comment. On second thought, the lightening of his partner’s expression was like that of a little brother who has just discovered an opportunity to get dirt on their older brother and the joy of anticipation to rub that dirt in, and if Neal and he could treat the situation like brothers… maybe it wouldn’t be so bad in the long run? Hoping for the best, Peter decided to simply set back and see how things went… and if Neal took it too far, he was still his handler who, like an older brother, had his own leverage in other ways.

*******

It was a process, but eventually Neal was shown every scrap of video and every blurred photo of his time as a hamster.

Diana enjoyed sharing the video of Peter feeding Neal with the entire office after Peter had assigned her to a particularly demeaning undercover role. Neal enjoyed this viewing because he wasn’t the butt of the joke, Peter was, so he got to laugh and tease heartily with the others while Peter was the one looking uncomfortable.

Jones shared some video of Diana cuddling with Neal while looking over some files in a way that revealed that she cared about Neal and enjoyed having him around. That was comforting to Neal as the hard shelled agent didn’t often let her friendship with him show through. (Of course, this particular video was shared in secret with the promise that Diana would never know about it, or she just might break Jones’ arms).

June had lightly welcomed him back to his ‘real gilded cage’ when she had walked Neal back up to his place. For a moment he was surprised, then he notice the fond and humorous gleam to her expression, and he couldn’t help but be grateful to her for being such an understanding friend and landlady. He had chuckled a grateful response to her for allowing “…a rodent like him to live with her” while smiling about how it seemed so weird, and yet like just another part of the strange life that he lived.

Mozzie had a new line up of conspiracy theories on how the government had been behind it all along, so he refused to work with Peter for a while, and he watched Neal like a hawk with frequent checkups just to make sure that he ‘was still human.’ Eventually, he calmed down as nothing else occurred, but that warehouse was avoided like the plague by the entire team as no one wanted to risk getting turned into a hamster.

But the person who divulged the most information and entertained Neal the most, was the expected Elizabeth Burke. She showed Neal everything, and particularly enjoyed showing him the times when Peter and he were interacting and things that displayed his personality as a hamster. Neal was annoyed at the pictures of Peter torturing him (he planned to get revenge in a humorous manner), a little surprised at how often Peter was taking care of him, embarrassed by a few things, and touched by the rest. He particularly liked the picture of him sleeping on Peter’s shoulder while he watched the game and although he never showed it, Elizabeth knew and gave him a copy for himself hidden in the pile of other copies that she forced him to take. Then Elizabeth showed him the pictures of him with personality. There was one where she manage to catch his paw touching his ‘hat’ like he did as a human, another where he looked like he was holding his paw to his head as if he had had enough, and more. One particular one caught Neal’s attention. He was standing up with his forepaws curled in front of him and his ears perked up listening to something, but around his hind paw was a little dark band.

Astounded, “Did I seriously have a dark little band for the anklet monitor?”

“What?” Elizabeth asked surprised. How had they missed that?

Pointing, “There, see how there is a little dark band matching my anklet?”

After looking, Elizabeth’s eyes got wide and she burst out laughing. “And here I told Peter that you didn’t have your anklet on.”

Muttering, Neal could help but utter the words “I couldn’t even get away from the thing as a hamster!”

In response, Elizabeth simply laughed harder for a moment. Then after she had settled down, she hugged Neal. “You’re also the only hamster in history to be well dressed in a suit and fedora while living in a lavish cage with gourmet hamster food so I wouldn’t complain too much.”

Hugging her back, Neal could see her logic, but it still rankled a little.

Finally, there was Peter. He continued to use the hamster ringtone for a while before switching it back to his usual one, but the suited hamster never left as Neal’s caller ID picture. Peter’s stories were the ones that showed Neal just how much trouble he had gotten into while teasing him about having put him in his cage when Peter had had enough. Neal knew that it was a comparison to the human angle. Should Neal get into trouble, he would go to jail, but it was an easier way to say it by putting the hamster angle to it. Then there was the 4-0 scores since Peter had caught him another two times with Neal still not managing to get away.

Their relationship had attained a sort of sibling connection. Neal would tease Peter about caring for him as a hamster, while Peter would remind him of the dangers of getting into trouble by alluding to his cage. All in all, nothing had really changed between them, they just had a realization of their bond and a new angle to show it.

*******

Before it was all over, Neal knew all about his time as a hamster. He has seen the videos, pictures, and even read the reports on just how much his coworkers had worked to get the mystery solved.

There were times when Neal was certain that he was remembering what it had been like. He would wake up in the night with this image in his mind of Peter from the perspective of his shoulder, or looking up at Peter as he silently pleaded for help with something. Then there were images of the others too, and sounds. Like Diana’s heart beat when she cuddled with Neal, or the sounds of Elizabeth laughing at him as he did something silly. Occasionally he would sketch the images in his head and if Peter saw them he would comment on the human side of the story. Some of the pictures that Neal drew were not things that had been photographed.

He remembered a few things, but if he ever remembered everything… he never told!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you everyone for reading, reviewing, leaving kudos, following, and choosing to favorite my stories and myself :D
> 
> I almost forgot to mention this before, but this story was inspired by our hamster Nevada when he was a tiny fella scampering around our couch trying to find a way past my blockades. In addition, other aspects were inspired by several years of past hamsters and their knacks for getting into trouble ;)
> 
> The question is, what do I post next week? My profile page has a list of my completed stories with the title and description included for each one. Since I have such a buffer, I like to let readers choose the posting order. If you have a request, please leave it in a review or PM me. However, if there are no requests, I will either post the next story in line, or choose by some random means.


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